A 5 step guide to finding true love and the perfect life-partner

Photo by Sasiistock/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by Sasiistock/iStock / Getty Images
The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.
— Johnny Depp

One of the most exhilarating of all human emotions is the feeling of falling in love and the churning sensations it causes in your stomach that makes you almost want to throw up! This feeling of nausea accompanied by a loss of appetite, breathlessness and a dimming of all other sensations of taste, smell, touch, hearing and seeing, are some of the most immediate signs of having fallen hopelessly in love. Of course, there are other indications too, like the enlargement of a vivid imagination, making you believe in a fanciful perfect life with your fanciful perfect mate in some fanciful part of the universe!

And yet all those who have experienced the initial stages of falling in love, know only too well how thoroughly they have been deceived! Scientists have proven by research that when couples fall in love, certain chemicals become very active in the brain and it usually takes 2 years for the brain to start functioning normally again. This is the time when you realize the mess you have got yourself into, and that those initial feelings of love that denied you your daily bread and oxygen supply, were wholly misleading.

So how do you come to terms with such a thing as true love? Does true love really exist? How can I find true love? For all my wanderer friends who are still in search of their perfect mate, here are some of my thoughts on this very supercalifragilisticexpialidocious subject! P.S. That is probably the longest word in English language and it means 'wonderful'!

1. There is no such thing as true love

You can delude yourself in believing that true love really exists, but in all the years I have been on this planet, and in learning from the experiences of others, I have found that the only place true love really exists is within myself. I know it's a very three dimensional answer to something as simple as, 'where can I find true love?', but it's the only logical answer that brings me comfort in insufferable moments, when I am tempted to feel otherwise!

I can tell you the story of my German professor who has been happily married to his Japanese wife for almost 40 years now. He once said in class that there is nothing like a perfect mate or a perfect marriage, and that marriage is only always 60, 70 or 80% perfect, but once we get used to this idea of imperfection in our minds, then we can find perfection even in that which is imperfect. I think just putting our minds around this one can be a huge step in the direction of finding true love.

2. The initial feeling of euphoria that falling in love brings is totally false

If the delirious and dream-like state of having fallen in love is really true, then it should last forever. But the truth is that it always goes away and life always comes back to being ordinary and mundane. I am not denying that I haven't found myself succumbing to such hysteria at one time or the other, when love has made it impossible to eat, breathe or even to live - I have - and I have got severely bumped! The thing to do is to not give in to these momentary false emotions, but to step back from your supposed ecstasy and wait till you start feeling normal again, before making any life-altering decisions that may bring you only ruination and despair.

3. Soulmates don't exist

I never quite understood what a soulmate was - perhaps somebody who brings you a kind of a perfect, all-fulfilling love that drowns all your sorrows and makes you want to fly on wings of light to heaven or somewhere! Honestly, I never saw such a love between human beings and personally, I find it much more convenient to drown my sorrows (if any) in a nice cup of coffee - the gratification is instant and perhaps far more fulfilling than a love that exists only in fairy-tales or fictional films with misleading plots!

When we clear our minds of all misconceptions regarding soul-mates, we might really be able to find the right companion for us.

4. Believe in the law of attraction

I always believe that whatever you think, you attract and this extends to the realm of finding the right life-partner. If you want somebody who is kind, generous, loving and compassionate, you have to be all those qualities yourself to be able to attract one yourself! To me it seems like a lot of hard work on developing your own character before finding true love.

5. Get practical and check out your partner's car-trunk

This is the expression I usually use to check out if you and your partner have similar likes and dislikes, and can stand at least a few of each other's bad habits and idiosyncrasies! You can actually really start from the car-trunk - sometimes it can reveal to you hidden recesses of your partner's mind that you never knew existed! Just the other day, a man who is a brick-layer by profession, showed me the trunk of his car where he stored all his work tools - everything was arranged so perfectly, I could hardly believe it! He then told me that he was an OCD, and noticing a very tiny paint mark on my shoe, said to me, "You better take that off, honey!"....I still haven't taken it off, I guess I am not much of an OCD as him!

Of course, then there is the trunk of my car that always has a bit of this and that and my brother's car that has a perpetual golf-set sitting there with office files scattered all over! Believe me, this is the one place you need to look, to figure out if your partner is compatible with you or not!

If you agree or do not agree with my thoughts on this subject, please leave your comments in the Comments Section below and I will reply to you asap! Thanks for reading!